All About Peanut and Life

2006-05-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY FILLMORE TWINS

WE WERE LITTLE; BORN EARLY.

MIRACLES; ANGELS.

SWEET, INNOCENT, PURE;

OUR LIVES HAVE SHIFTED; OUR LIVES HAVE CHANGED.

WHERE WE ARE, STILL REMAINS.

SEARCHING FOR OUR SOULS; LOST OF THE UNKNOWN.

THE ONE THING I AM AWARE; WE ARE AS ONE.

YOU MAY NOT AGREE; TO WHO WE ARE.

DEEP INSIDE; YOU KNOW.

MY LOVE GROWS MORE EACH DAY.

WE MAY NOT BE TOGETHER HOWEVER, MY LOVE STAYS.

ONE OF THESE DAY, WE MAY SEE EYE TO EYE.

AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WE SHALL CRY.

Happy 35th Birthday Lisa;

Hopefully you will know, I sent you a birthday wish.

2006-05-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

A YUCK TUESDAY

Today felt like a Monday; nothing went right.
Complaints, bickering, the mundane of inferiorism.
Lately, I do not enjoy my work, which is weird when I think about it.
I do unusal task and projects throughout the day--daily.
There is never a dull moment in my office.
Recently, I get frustrated, exhausted and cannot wait for 5 o'clock to come.
I do not know what is it with me lately.
I know I need a break--to get away from it all.
Graduate work has been bogging me down too.
I am not enjoying the challenge like I wish I could.
I want this course to end, end fast.
I will not be signing up for a summer course.
I need to refresh.
Do what I want when I get home.
Spend more time with my son in the evening.
Finish painting rooms, finish sanding the deck, continue to garden and enjoy the summer.
My true last day off was .......................... maybe Thanksgiving but, I worked 4 hours that day?
Let me think .... maybe last August for 2 days but I was still unpacking from moving into my new house so that is not a vacation.
Pleasure, how we calculate it.
Pleasure was when I went to the Virigin Islands for 11 days in 2001; that was solitude--loved it, miss it, wish I was there again.
I need to go; refresh the soul and mind.
I cannot stand getting up in the mornings anymore. I hit the snooze button a half dozen times. I wait to the very last second to wake.
Ugh, life, the mundane of it all...the responsibility of being an adult...YUCK!

This is how I feel lately--

I feel like s*it is dished out to me lately.
Not feeling very human.
Cannot get out of the funk I am in.

What to do? Wait it out? Nah, I do not think so.
Time for some reevaluation.
Time to begin to relax--after this month I hope.

I needed to vent; get all the b...l...a....h out of me.
I will be myself soon; I pray.

Well, for now, go on to finish the week and begin the next.
Maybe, just maybe, something unusual, exciting and fantastic will happen this week.
Let's hope.

2006-05-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

To have my baby sister home, in my home, a distance away from hers (1 hr 35 mins)..still a distance from two different worlds, the communities, although they look similiarily, two spectrums apart; the diversity is different...

Southern Maine so much more to offer...as for the Dixfield, Mexico, Rumford area, beautiful all seasons long however, I feel a distance apart from everyone else...

Angie's visit was a breathe of fresh air; brought back some memories when we grew up together...

Although we may have an age gap (her 27 and I 35, in 11 days) her and I connect...

We are a like however, different; Artistically, we are very much similar if not same, which I know we love about one another...life choices well, I know she wants me home...I too...Love you Ang!

However, I cannot, I found my dream home, dream neighborhood to bring my son up in...the natural enviornment is soooooo awesome for him...I literally can keep my eye on him as he gets older...

I miss home, I long for it...
Ang brought a lot of the home sickness back, not a bad thing at all...it makes me appreciate family more...it makes me appreciate her more...how much she loves, cares, never forgetting the reality of life...

I love watching you grow into a women, a mother and a wife, falling in love all over again--what a wonderful feeling to go through again with your original love, I Love You and Miss You...

to the next time we meet...thank you for this weekend...

Paul B. with is BIG AXE, look how small Nolan is to this GIANT

then we went to....

the moose never showed for Angie's visit...they are usually there pretty much all day long...oh well, maybe next time however, may fresh tracks seen...

...we also went throught the Knottes--Andover, Maine, into Roxbury and Roxbury Pond...

...many more pics however, the day had to end...Angie to go home, here are picks before she left...

AUNTIE ANGIE I LOVE AND MISS YOU...

WHEN WILL YOU SLEEP OVER AGAIN...

Thank you for coming...we miss you!

2006-05-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

My Memere...she is so beautiful!

A deeply loving and caring women.

I learned a lot from her.

She is my mentor, my belove, my memere.

I cannot imagine my life without her.

She is my rock.

My personal leaning poll when I need to vent.

She listens well...intuitive to my every word.

We learn from one another.

I from her old addage and her from my new sense of being.

She loves me, she is so much in love with my son (great-grand Peanut).

I miss her.

I need to be with her.

I am a part of her.

2006-05-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

A "SURPRISE" MOMMY!

How special is this? My little boy who had a secret, a surprise for a week while on his vacation with Michael.

He held that secret all week long.

It is a Friday, hot and yucky in my office, plugging away on a contract issue and who pops around the doorway into my office, Peanut!

He is all dressed up. Look how handsome he is, he is so beautiful.

Dipples and all.

He came to my office dressed up to take me out to lunch.

How sweet is that?

Oah, I can just eat him up!

As trying he gets on my patience lately; this makes up for it.

I love you Peanut; you are a special sweet boy!

My special day; you!

2006-05-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

THE INSIGHTFUL CHILD THAT HE IS ...

Well, it is like any other Sunday morning, with three boys under the age of 5 and who is 35. No sanity for the woman in this household...testostarone galore!For the last two days I have been experiencing migraines...probably due to work, the boys (stressful enough), working around the front and back yards and a great contributor, 15 homework assignments all due by Monday...phew!

Anywho, to help my migraine, I take my contacts out so I can wear my glasses. As I put them on, peanut yells out, "You look weird Mommy!" Well, thanks?! That made me feel even better as a woman.

What is a woman? Well, she is beautiful, even when she is not told that she is; she is independent even when there is resistance from the opposite sex; she is insightful, knowing every move, sound, and bitch; she is intelligent because she knows what is in front of her, not logically analysizing evey action; she is creative which brings forth passion, love and care; she is a mother.

No matter how hard the job is full or part time, it's a job--a job deserving to keep for a lifetime--there is no comparison.

I love you peanut!

2006-04-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

TGIF!!!

Peanut is excited; no Jackie's for 9 days--vaca!

The first thing he wanted to do when he got home was to play on pbskids.com.

He's gotten well versed with the computer.

He surfs from one link to the next; playing game after game after game.

Well, time for bed, "Oh, one more game Mommy?!"

2006-04-18T18:37:00.000-07:00

Flarp, the amazing noise putty.

It only costs 88 cents at Walmart, and frankly it’s amazing.
I decided to go ahead and buy it, as an 88 cent investment in noise putty for the boys as an Easter gift.

Today, Nolan and I decided to play with it to find out what it is all about; OMG, we busted a gut!!! http://www.farts.com/shopping/navy.wav

This product will definitely have you in tears.

2006-04-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

here' s a little brightness for you

2006-04-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

Little Sisters, BIG HEARTS, sweet rememberance....

The first time I saw you, you were 6 mos old...what a feeling, I have never forgotten

Although I had a sister my age, you were new, fresh and awhhhhhh unbelievably adorable

I loved you the second I looked at you

Your first giggle, the first day I met you

You on the kitchen counter, I blow and whistle on you chubby toes and palms of your feet

you giggle for the first time

the look on you mom's face, priceless

we hit it off right away

the flip, the fat lip, the colorful psychodelic toy chest hideout, the 'black wig'

then you were gone; my heart broken for many years

then, my guardian angle, Memere, found you

Is she a miralce worker or what?

Thereafter, you, baby brother and I, reunite.

Time has flown by, hugs and kisses exchanged

Laughter, tears and memories all have compiled within my heart.

I have not forgotten each moment you and I have had;

I cherish each second.

I miss you so much...and itch for the next visit we have with one another.

I'm proud of you; you are strong, you are beautiful, you are intelligent; you are loved.

2006-03-31T20:37:00.000-08:00

IT'S DADDY'S BIRTHDAY...and WE want to WISH him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY from JONAH, JARED and NOLAN (your buddy:0]).

We know you will love the peanuts, BIG Hershey Kiss, and the candles.

LUV U DAD

We won't fight today, we won't argue and we will listen to you today--only because it's your birthday; however, tomorrow, we will be your normal wild and crazy boys! Aaaaaawwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-23T16:10:00.000-08:00

Peanut

Today, a better day at the office although, peanut is being a bozo.
He thinks he is being comical...hah hah--not.
4 yrs old...thinking he has the world in his complete control.
His personality is strong and forward.
Hard to deal with since he was a quiet and calm baby.
What a difference each year brings.
I love these times since they try my patience.
What will bedtime be like tonight; what will tomorrow bring?
Love, kisses and big hugs.

2006-03-22T17:02:00.000-08:00

What a day today has been.
Male dominance...yuck!
Corporate world sucks for the female.
Debates, disagreements....dud.
Where to go from here...apologize?
The thought sickens me.
Tomorrow morning makes me nauscious.
I dread it.
However, I love my job, I love the company, I love its mission.
Suck it up...conclusion...yes, as awful as it sounds.
To get ahead is to sometimes comprise your morale beliefs; even if your right.

2006-03-22T16:46:00.000-08:00

New blog...this is a test.